Tattling

I strolled by a 3rd grade classroom today and the teacher was berating a student (students?) for tattling. She literally said, "One day you're going to tattle on the wrong person, and they're going to get you." Fast forward to middle school, where the word tattle morphs into a new term: snitch. But the concept is the same. And we can't understand why in the world kids who are bullied, treated unfairly, or know something about someone that could get them into a lot of trouble are no longer tattling on their friends...Hmm. I remember keeping things to myself as a kid, just to avoid getting in trouble for tattling. Everyone always said the line was as simple as that between life and death. But, as a 6 year old, 8 year old, 10 year old, where is that line exactly? Is it right to teach children not to tell things about one another? Are we creating a snitch-less society? One more proof that school was designed by a republic government... So I began thinking about what I will want my children to understand about tattling, telling, and snitching. Ultimately, most things come around to the heart of the matter. I think the important difference between tattling and telling is the intention behind it. What I want my children to decide is: what are my intentions behind telling? Am I telling to get someone in trouble, to get myself out of trouble, or to help or protect someone? Obviously, if you are telling to get someone in trouble or get yourself out of trouble, that is manipulative and would constitute tattling. And this is wrong because there are clearly deeper issues present if these are your intentions. However, if you are telling because you truly believe it will help or protect someone, then it seems telling is the wisest option. So, when I have children, my goal is to not be so quick to dismiss telling as tattling, but to provide instruction for them wherein they may search their own hearts and decide the difference between the two. Tattling will not be encouraged, but it will bring to light deeper issues that I believe are also important to address with children.